Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Kitty Integration Progress I

Regarding the integration of Vivi and Peanut (aka Tchai) into their temporary home which happens to also be the homes of their doppelgangers... there was this bulletin posted a few weeks ago. It has been through de-classification, any identifying/confidential information has been removed... I post it for your reading pleasure:

The Dual Twin Cat Integration Programme
Status Report: Day 12

Dear Inspector General,

The Programme continues unabated. The current operational situation
is beginning to stabilize with only minor turbulent periods. This
evening, being the third in a row with "full-house" coverage will bear
much scrutiny. The Weapon of Last (Nerf) Resort (R)(TM) has only been
deployed a few times and only fired twice. Its classified nature has
been largely maintained from the test subjects' points of view and thus
does not yet play a critical factor in behavior modification.
The radius of the guard zones around each Subject are decreasing
with time. All four test subjects were able to successfully co-exist in
the same local space-time region ("living room") with no significant
reaction for a period of minutes. The nutritional sustenenace is
accepted by all participants with some exceptions. Subject "Hg", not
his real name, has switched food allegiance as has a second Subject,
dubbed "T". The disposal centers remain clearly separated according to
the two camps but the liquid provisions are becoming common territory.
Subject "T", not his real name, has been accepting of significant
human contact, including the "holding and petting" maneuver. This
subject has shown uncanny facination with the green and white "trapped
ball" playtoy/cardboard scratcher testing setup. Several hours each day
are spent in this fashion. From a psychological point of view this
facination is almost categorized as "unholy" but some experts remain
unconvinced of this conclusion and stick to the "kitten" hypothesis.
More data will undoubtedly be collected. Subject "T" also has
demonstrated significant adaptive cognitive and gymnastic skills by
mimicing Subject "Hg"'s now-standard route of:
1) Leap beside the Myth box,
2) Leap to the top of the china cabinet,
3) Leap again to the top of the bookcases,
4) Groom incessantly.
Needless to say, the monitoring staff on duty did not quite recognize
the significance until the identity of the Subject "T" was distinguished
from that of Subject "Hg".
Subject "V", not his real name, has made significant progress,
especially today. The past three nights were a test in sleep
deprivation to the monitoring staff due to intentional and unintentional
territorial incursions. However, Subject "M" is beginning to stand his
ground on defense from Subject "V" and parity is beginning to be
achieved. Thus the dominant political forces are beginning to equalize
between the two factions. Continued secret liberal dosing of the
calssified pheremone Agent-F is a significant factor. Subject "V"
personally requested personal attention from the monitoring staff this
afternoon in the form of a lap and a hand. Subject "V" was quite
insistent at the time and rolled upside down next to the wary staff
member for several minutes. Said staff member may have invalidated the
"inteference" clause of his contract and has been summarily executed,
however this staff member did have a smile on his face. Subject "V"
continues to request closer staff member contact. Undoubtedly this is a
covert attack on The Programme itself. However, this behavior will be
encouraged due to the impressive dataset it provides.
This afternoon and evening will continue the "whole house" policy
set in motion recently. Continued positive results, with the occasional
backslide, are expected.

Report concluded.
Monitoring Staff 14-J, 16127
03:20Z 2006-01-09

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