Friday, September 3, 2004

Realization of Self and other inner thoughts

It's not like I didn't know. I do know, and not only does it not bother me, but I've not made an effort to change anything up to avoid this oh so negativeness. I know that it's in how I interact with those around me, my choice of words that have no padding, and well my general distaste of white lies that keeps this whole thing alive. People don't like me. And it's all good with me.

See, at school not only do I participate as a student with head in book... I participate as a "leader" in organizations for my department, my college, my region, and my area of study. A lot of this kind of participation requires me to get things done. A good majority of the time it requires me to be quite curt, succinct, and making executive decisions that don't always agree with a few or even the general public. But, these things have to be done.

I learned a long time ago I can't please everyone. I learned this summer that sometimes the decisions we make as leaders are not always favorable with the people it affects, but they still need to be made to help a wider set of people.

It's not that I don't care that people hate me. I care, but only because I feel sad for them that they don't realize that I only seem mean to them because they're used to being coddled by their parents, their significant others, and their best friends. They hate the professors that tell them, "I'm sorry a 89.49 is an 89.49 and not an 89.5, and so you have a B". They hate cops that say, "It doesn't matter that you're pulling into the driveway of your house, you're still inebriated, here's your ticket". And so they hate me for saying, "I'm sorry, you've abused your privilages with our computer, we've changed the password and no you can't have it". They also hate me for saying "Please lets not talk when I'm talking". They hate me for saying, "Look, I'm sorry we're going to have to do this on this time table or it won't be done".

There are even a few that hate me to no end because I answered a mundane question during a critical moment with "not, right now".

Honestly, if these people thought they could do better, they've had their chance to challenge me. I'm an army of one most of the time anyway, it's not like I can't be defeated with an unexpected blow to the gut. These spineless snips run around spreading rumours and hate but they dare not confront me to my face. They bubble up and cry away to those in their inner circle to spread thier hate. It's all cowardess, really.

If these people don't like me, they could vote me down. Run against me. Start up an anti-Hieu campaign, but they don't. They just whine and bitch and moan to anyone who cares to listen and adopt some drama of their own.

I guess this is where these guys and girls become the disgruntled workers making measly pay and not getting promoted. These people will never be satisfied no matter who's in charge. Poor them.

And that's my thought for tonight. Good night all.

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