Wednesday, April 7, 2004

open letters

Dear Fellow Office Member,

If the way I ran the meeting in anyway shocked you, let that be an indicator that you, sir, are not ready for the WorkingWorld. As a soon to be graduated college student, this should concern you. In anycase, I can tell you as a former employee of TheMan and TheFruit that the putting-off-of-important-stuff is not tolerated. Nor is speaking out of turn during a staff meeting. I suggest working on promptness and penmenship as well. We are no longer in 4th grade, and proper colored ink on important documents is a must. One realizes that the world now communicates via keyboards and keypads, but in the off occassion that one is equipt with a pen and paper, being able to recognize the written word would be key.

Thank you,

Your Elected President


Dear AlarmClock,

You should be able to read my mind and know what I mean when I say wake me up at 7.

Yours Truely,

Person Who Relies Heavily On You


Dear IHop Staff,

The Lubbock Po Po's aren't that "cute". They really aren't worthy of all the extravagent flirting that you all put on. Really, these are older middle aged men with a 25"x50" viewable area on life. Most of their upper body is held into that hefty box shape by kevlar, without it, their tummys would resemble your ass. Giving them cute names and treating them as if they were your grade school girlfriends you had tea and cookies with doesn't make them want you more. I know it didn't make me want you more. Do you think they sit there and go "my god, she called me a woman, she must want to jump my bones"? Cause they don't. If they did, well, I would worry.

Annoyed Customer

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