Friday, April 30, 2004

Oh puh-leeez

The late Dr. Abudulahi Yusuf had this friend, Jimoh U Johnson. Poor Jimoh keeps writing me on behalf of Dr. Yusuf asking if I could help him out, cause you know they weren't able to contact his relatives and the "need arose". With his caps lock on and some seriously maimed english, poor Jimoh begs me to help him launder the "elven (not dwarf, elven) million three hundred thousand us dollars" the late Dr. Yusuf left behind. Apparently, I'm pretty popular with late Nigerian millionaires. I've never been to Nigeria, but I did have a Nigerian roomate once.... hmm.. yeah, no.

Reply, an open letter to all Nigerian Bankers with dead friends, and lotto winner office people also displaced somewhere in Africa....

Dear sirs,

I barely find the time to lauder my own clothes, much less some made up dead Nigerian's money. I've never bought a lottery ticket, in the US or Nigeria, that didn't already tell me I just wasted my dollar. Be advised that further emails from you Nigerian-Nutsacks are forwarded to my trash bin.


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