Wednesday, April 14, 2004

a) insert lemon into mouth b) suck

The plush burgundy velveteen table cloth that was my world was pulled out from underneath me today and left me as a lone cheap glass goblette on the walmart-brand breakfast-table. I'm going to have to stop caring for real this time, and stop pretending like I give a poopie when I'm not expected to in the first place.

Everywhere I've turned to for just a little bit of support has turned their signs around.. everyone is "out to lunch". Not that I need a pity party, oh no. But it would be nice for once to be allowed to gripe about the ugliness thrown at me without being reprimanded for being judge-freaking-mental. As far as I'm concerned, when it concerns me and how I'm being judged, I will judge however the hell I want. I would like to feel sorry for myself once and have what's suppose to be a good friend to listen to me even if they have to pretend instead of being told it'll all be okay. Yeah, buddy, you said that last year and it's just gotten a hellovalot worse. I'm hating the world right now, and will for a while. So unless you have anything good to say, step the f' off.

We all have our trials and crosses to bear. Some we keep private, some we share. Some would just go away with a hug from someone who cares. Some will linger till the day we die. Either way, they're there. To you guys who've been nice endure my thrashing around and whining, thank you... no really. I thank you. I owe you all double death chocolate fudge brownies.

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