Saturday, March 15, 2003


Last semester I put a lot of grey matter refuse into this thing, and it really helped. This semester, I haven't done so, and I really need to. Keeping things to myself isn't healthy. So here we go.

I love my daddy. He tried hard to raise his three little munchkins, and I think when he looks back at us, he wonders where he went wrong. He's always telling me how he feels "sick"; that "sick" that only my dad can feel. The kind that makes him not able to work. Like me when I'm craving sushi and the nearest roll is miles away - I can't do anything. He says he feels bad because one kid is intelligent, living his dream, but can't take care of a simple house hold issue. One is intelligent and beautiful, but if her head wasn't attached as it is, she would have lost it by now. The last one is not so bright in the academic sense, but she'll survive if drop shipped butt naked into a remote island with nothing but her keychain and a paperclip and requires nothing of him. We'll he didn't say it like that, but he almost did. I didn't have the heart to tell him my highest test grade this semester was in the 80's. eugh, that would break his heart. I did tell him about my Mech grade, only because we get a retake.

But you know, Dr. E was right. Do the homework yourself you'll atleast get a 75.. And that is exactly what happened. Well, I'm retaking the test, which means I have to study. But I need to make time to work. I got reprimanded for not going anywhere with my "research" which has turned into more of a guessing game. I think I'm lost. Eugh. not a good feeling. Maybe I'll run to campus and force myself to work some. Maybe grab some coffee if someone calls.. Or maybe go hang outside where it's nice for a change.

I came across a thought today: One shouldn't settle for what they have to live with. If you have to live with something, you should make sure it is exactly what you want. And why not? You deserve it. No, you can't have everything, but you don't have to accept everything that's given to you either.

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